Until Eve arrived this was a man's world.
Of late I appear To have reached that stage When people who look old Who are only my age.
Middle age is the time of life that a man first notices in his wife.
Adolescence isn't a period; it's a coma.
Some golfers blast their ball from traps With one adroit explosion But others out in ten perhaps Depend upon erosion.
They head the list of bad to bet on: But I insist they're worse to get on
There is no balm of Gilead No salve no soothing ointment To stay the pain of one who's had In love a disappointment-- Unless it be that healing lotion Of fixing on a new devotion.
(Francis) Bacon's best known writings are his essays. They are loved for many reasons such as their being so short.
Retired is being tired twice I've thought first tired of working then tired of not.
Beauty is only skin deep and the world is full of thin skinned people.
Some people can carry a tune but they seem to stagger under the load.
In larger things we are convivial; what causes trouble is the trivial.
There is some consolation in the fact that even though your dreams don't come true neither do your nightmares.
Politics it seems to me for years or all too long has been concerned with right or left instead of right or wrong.
G is for Green that's constructed to roll in every direction away from the hole.
It is all right to hold a conversation but you should let go of it now and then.
It's all right to hold a conversation but you should let go of it now and then.
If you convinced me And I convinced you Would there not still be Two points of view?
Rockefeller made his money in oil which he discovered at the bottom of wells. Oil was considered crude in those days but so was Rockefeller. Now both are considered quite refined.
Do you want my honest opinion? People ask. I say "Yes " for I'm curious. So they give me their honest opinion And I - well I'm always furious.
That money talks I'll not deny I heard it once: It said 'Goodbye'.
When it comes to eating you can sometimes help yourself more by helping yourself less.
Although practice swings Can be helpful things Twere better indeed not take any Than to fiddle and fret And before playing get Exhausted from taking too many.
There are very few humorists who have written first-rate humor after they've become elderly.
[Beowolf] is considered an epic because of its long speeches its digressions its repetition and its being required.
[John Foster Dulles] invented Brinkmanship the most popular game since Monopoly.
This golfer has a wicked slice. And quite a follow-through. That's why his partner who stood too close Is on the green in two.
The hand is quicker than the eye is but somewhat slower than the fly is.
I love a finished speaker I really truly do I don't mean one who's polished I just mean one who's through.
Libraries: Here is where people one frequently finds lower their voices and raise their minds.
Good sportsmanship we hail we sing It's always pleasant when you spot it. There's only one unhappy thing: You have to lose to prove that you've got it.
Each year it grows harder to make ends meet - the ends I refer to are hands and feet.
I've suffered from all of the hang-ups known and none is as bad as the telephone.
If I ever make a hole in one A thrill that I've never known I won't be believed and I'll have no fun For I'm sure to be playing alone.
If we cannot define stupidity at least we can trace most human misfortunes and weaknesses to it. Its manifestations are legion its symptoms are endless.
A rumor is one thing that gets thicker instead of thinner as it is spread.
I miss my mattress when I am gone; It's one thing I've made an impression on.
The great improvement of the radio over the telephone is that it may be turned off without offending the speaker.