The world is your oyster... ...too bad you're allergic to shellfish.
I hate bananas. I just hate them. But I also think a banana suit is the funniest fruit costume a person can wear.
Cowardice when done correctly can be its own kind of bravery.
Mockery when done without prejudice or discretion can be a form of respect. It's the closest we'll ever come to true equality.
Lying to other people is fine and usually funny but lying to yourself is tacky.
It's like someone who prays every night saying God's a good listener. Just because you're talking to us doesn't mean we're listening. With me and God you never really know.
If stealing a few saltshakers was wrong I didn't want to be right.