I don't suppose anybody's ever enjoyed being who they are more than Arnold's enjoyed being Arnold Palmer.
Many Americans follow pro basketball from November through June for reasons that I found unexplainable other than the fact that they were overly fascinated with soaring armpits.
The devoted golfer is an anguished soul who has learned a lot about putting just as an avalanche victim has learned a lot about snow.
I love Twitter.
The Masters is a sell-out annually and even the scalpers mind their manners.
It must be the PGA Championship if it's August and you can sit down and talk to the heat or reach inside your shirt where it's 110 degrees and grab handfuls of humidity.
Regardless of what the tour pros think golf is a rich and varied game and what all of us awkward fools do on weekends is what golf is truly all about.
I just come from a school where you have to win something to be accepted.
I think a great athlete transcends eras.
CEOs are worried they're going to get fired any minute. They're worried about their portfolios.
The PGA Championship last of the majors each year might well be accustomed to having fun poked at it by the print press for being mired in August but this isn't fair.
The ocean-bordered southern part of California has always been a place of Hollywood make-believe casual opulence suntans and jewelry.
You count a man's U.S. Amateur titles after he starts winning professional majors. That's something any intelligent golf writer with a sense of history is supposed to know.
I am among those who firmly believe that a round of golf should not take more than three and a half hours four at most. Anything longer than that is not a round of golf it's life in Albania.
Just think about it: what in the name of God would Alabama be without the University of Alabama? What would Oklahoma be without the University of Oklahoma? Nothing.
A good one iron shot is about as easy to come by as an understanding wife.
My favorite sport frankly is college football. I'm a college football junkie even though I'm associated with golf and like golf and have played it all my life.
Kids flew B-17s in daylight bombing raids over Germany in World War II. Kids fought in Korea and Vietnam.
Sally Jenkins of the 'Washington Post' is the best sports columnist in the country. Second best is Gene Wojciechowski of ESPN.com and third is Dan Wetzel on Yahoo!
I had always suspected that trying to play golf in the company of big-time pros and a gallery would be something like walking naked into choir practice.
I gather most people don't remember that when the U.S. Open first went to Pebble Beach in 1972 a big deal was made of the Open going to a public course for the first time.
When Ballesteros triumphed at the British Open in 1979 for his first major win he hit so few fairways off the tee that he was often mistaken for a gallery marshall.
Always keep in mind that if God didn't want a man to have mulligans golf balls wouldn't come three to a sleeve.
Presidents are nice people. They're nice fun-loving people who have great jobs.
The first president I met was L. B. J.
Baseball would be a better game if more third basemen got hit in the mouth by line drivers.
High school golf college golf and the decade that followed all come back to me now as one big raucous goofy gangsome.
Only two things can stop Tiger â?? injury or a bad marriage.
Lonnie says it doesn't take long to write a song if you're stricken with a severe case of the Tennysons. He wasn't necessarily talking about a chart-climber.
As the NFF Historian I'll have a new platform to indulge my passion for the most emotional colorful and hysterical game ever developed by mankind and Walter Camp.
If a caddie can help you you don't know how to play golf.
At times my very own media makes me cringe and occasionally out loud. By the way nothing clears the head like an out-loud cringe.
Valet parking is an essential at any decent club.
Every golfer has at least 14 enemies: his clubs.
I hate political correctness.
Golfers don't fist fight. They cuss a bit. But they wouldn't punch anything or anybody. They might hurt their hands and have to change their grip.
Laughter is the only thing that'll cut trouble down to a size where you can talk to it.
Everybody in the Olympics is paid. Lindsay Vonn is going to make a million dollars whether she skis or not.
Of course Dwight D. Eisenhower gets credit for doing more for golf than any other White House resident a mid- to high-handicapper though he was.
Here's all I know about Dubai: It's one of those somewhere-over-there places where they make sand.
I've worked my whole life and never missed a deadline.
I get 'USA Today ' the 'New York Times ' 'Wall Street Journal' and the 'Star-Telegram' at my doorstep. I can't do without them.
Putting is not an art it's a dreaded evil. No wise man ever said that.
My aunt got me interested in journalism - she found an old typewriter had it worked over put it on the dining room table gave me a stack of paper and said 'Play like you're a writer.'
There's usually one piece in 'Vanity Fair' every month that grabs me but when it presents hatchet jobs without substantiation to impress its liberal friends I laugh first then toss.
I like to be entertained not smothered with 'literary' riddles.
There have been so many great moments in golf that you even forget some of them.
Fort Worth is friendly; it's still a Texas town. It's the most Texas city in Texas.
Until Sammy Baugh - pro football in Texas was a one-paragraph story on the third page of the Monday sports section.
The president I came to know best was George Herbert Walker Bush. No. 41 in your program No. 1 on your list of fast-playing golfers.
I haven't looked for a golf ball since mulligans were free which was a law I passed in 1995.
The golf ball has no sense at all which is why it has to be given stern lectures constantly especially during the act of putting.
You must remind yourself at all times that the golf ball is nothing. It's an object. It's something to be swatted and sometimes lost and not even looked for.
Real golf is the 20 million people who play once a week or once a month.
Locker rooms and grill rooms are still the best places to find out things you don't know - at the Masters or any other golf tournament.
Marty Russo was too good a golfer to be a servant of the people.
I don't know how television or radio is going to survive without newspapers because that's where they get all their news. It's going to be hopeless.
My real heroes have always been sportswriters.
The first thing they gave me at 'Sports Illustrated' was a first-class air card. 'And oh by the way there's the petty cash drawer ' they told me. 'Take a few thousand dollars for expenses.'
Every immortal except Jack Nicklaus has hit a wall and stopped making putts he had to make in order to win. Jack did it for 20 years.
I think newspapers will survive in some form or another.
Jack Nicklaus is the greatest winner I've ever seen.
Who is the best the sportswriter who wore shorts? I keep trying to envision Grantland Rice or John Lardner in shorts. It never occurred to me to wear shorts. I'd look too silly to wear shorts.
Anybody can make jokes. But unless they come from conviction and there's truth in them you haven't nailed it. They aren't as funny as they could be and they don't make a point.
I'd rather be doing something than not doing something.