Aisha Tyler Quotes

I thought I was gonna be an attorney so I went to Dartmouth and I was a government major and I minored in environmental policy and I didn't do anything academically around the arts.

One thing we do really well on Archer and one thing I've always tried to do in my comedy and my writing and my podcast is to never speak down to my audience.

You rarely see women being nice to each other on television anymore.

I think I was only attracted to drunken douches before I got married.

I liked comedy but didn't know it was something you could do for a living. I actually wanted to be an attorney.

But I love stand-up and it's where I came from creatively so it's something I never want to walk away from.

On general principle I boycott shows that don't employ actors.

I love to be busy and be challenged. I'm my happiest when I'm under pressure and almost overwhelmed by how much I have to get done.

I take the most wrenchingly painful moments of my life brush them off and present them for the amusement of others. Luckily for me my childhood was torture.

I might not agree with myself in a year.

My parents were vegetarians. I'd show up at school this giant black kid with none of the cool clothes and a tofu sandwich and celery sticks.

I'm black and black don't crack. It does droop.

I'm just going to be the best version of me that I could possibly be and be as funny as I possibly can. I've just got to be myself and hopefully people will find me. And my audience did find me.

Omnipresence can be a good or bad thing I suppose. I don't want to spend a lot of time thinking about it. I'm super-grateful.

The best advice anybody could have given me was to keep getting up over and over again.

Pop culture is great but it can be bad at times.

I'm my own boss and my boss is a total ass.

Yes I do get recognized in public. It's pretty nice.

Comedy is ugly. It's honest it's raw.

Am I going to complain about being typecast as smart? I don't think so.

I love Toronto. I love it. I love Toronto. I love Canada. I can't wait to get back. Can't wait to have some Timbits.

Nothing really worth having is easy to get. The hard-fought battles the goals won with sacrifice are the ones that matter.

I don't believe in superheroes but I love Batman movies. There's a part of every person that is entertained by the idealistic the fantastic.

Karaoke is the great equalizer.

Marriage is a mystery and part of it is just being kind to each other not being selfish.

And I was the only black kid in my school for almost all of my childhood until I was a teenager. So imagine if you will being 6 feet tall by third grade so essentially being a living maypole.

Marriage isn't a carnival ride.

I'm sure I had low-level scurvy all of my childhood.

I can tell you this: Stand-up is not glamorous.

I like the company of guys. I have a lot of good girlfriends that I really love but you know most of my close friends are men.

I grew up on the back of a motorcycle - my dad didn't have a car until I was a teenager. And then my closest friend from grade school was a guy.

You know it's about getting out there and having a good time. Not about worrying - all these young books for women are like I'm 29 with a closet full of Prada shoes and I can't get a date. Come on.

I love it when I come across a word I don't know. And I would never treat my audience like they weren't smart enough to come along with me.

I like grown up comedy.

Pop culture hales you and wants you to fail.

I have one girlfriend who is dating right now - she's divorced - and she's on Tinder so we play Tinder. I know that's not a real game but it's my favorite thing to do.

I am absolutely a Giants fan and I'm a Dynasty baby so I was a 49ers fan for a long time.

I want to point out that this is not my fault that everyone's afraid of me because I did not kill a couple people the other day.

I'm the kindest most supportive friend ever probably to my own detriment but I hope that I am toughening up a little bit.

I really do know football.

I have always been a softie and I fight it with every fiber of my being. Sadly my being's fibers need to hit the gym.

They always say some women like to fix people. I don't like to fix people but you like a challenge.

You know I read graphic novels but not encyclopedically.

I spent most of my seventh grade summer dehydrated green-tongued and smelling like a Malaysian whorehouse.

I'm such a geek and have always been a real nerd.

I've always been a gamer and I had a period where I was gaming at a really hardcore level.

When I get old and slow down I want to look behind me and see all the fire and the wreckage and no stone left unturned.

Maybe the nails are a little stubby and gnawed on but I definitely do not have man hands.

I'm just myself so I don't know that I think of myself as a nerd icon.

Wounds turn into scars and scars make you tough.

Sometimes the mistake I see people make is thinking that they're always going to be up and I think that's impossible for anyone.

You can only really learn from failure ... To win you need to fail and fail hard.

TV always wants more people to be watching.

I was raised by a single dad so I've always just kind of liked "guys" stuff. I think my dad just took me to the things he was interested in.

I always wanted to be as busy as possible so that if one job went away I'd still have plenty of other things to do.

So much of a stand-up's life is doing live radio and having to be funny and quick on the spot with these strangers and sort of surgical in terms of how funny I can be in three minutes.