Robert Klein Quotes

But I think the other is a little more like bullfighting a little more daring and although I appreciate good acting and I liked being versatile my whole career it kept me working.

I was in the De Witt Clinton Hight School marching band. One of the worst bands ever formed. When we played the national anthem people from every country stood - except Americans.

In the book of things people more often do wrong than right investing must certainly top the list followed closely by wallpapering and eating artichokes

My 1974 album 'Mind Over Matter' was a detailed thing about Watergate. I always had some righteous indignation.

The `50s were terrifying with nuclear bomb stuff but boring in a social way and then the `60s were happening and remember there was no AIDS.

The Broad research center represents the highest quality model of what Proposition 71 should be funding.

In the fifties I had dreams about touching a naked woman and she would turn to bronze or the dream about hot dogs chasing donuts through the Lincoln Tunnel

Regis and I were inducted into the original Bronx Walk of Fame.

I did the first HBO special ever in 1975 at Haverford College. Cable was new then: HBO was a Time-Life entity with maybe 400 000 or 500 000 subscribers and maybe 50 employees.

I was a class clown.

My son has been a class clown and it sort of ran in the family

I was a class clown. My father was a class clown. My son has been a class clown and it sort of ran in the family.

I have a work-out regime; I am not a maniac. It sounds cliche but stand-up comedy doing a one-man show helps keep me young and yes it is exhausting but I don't collapse.

Comedy is still alive and there are still funny people. Jews are still overrepresented in comedy and psychiatry and underrepresented in the priesthood. That immigrant Jewish humor is still with us.

And the only studies were - Rodney Dangerfield was my mentor and he was my Yale drama school for comedy.

What makes a good nanny? A good nanny is someone who really wants to do the job. Someone who loves children who really values what she does and of course is valued by her employer.

Fear is the greatest salesman.

I learned more at The Second City than I did at Yale for all that high tuition.

So it took me five years because in the interim I have been doing a lot of personal appearances and movies and some television series that went into the plumbing and I stopped writing for a while.

I'm not against profanity. It's an important part of the language when used properly.