Joy Behar Quotes

I don't know what it's going to take for people to really wake up and understand that they [the Bush administration] are liars and they are murderers.

I don't profess to be an expert on anything or have the memory for who ran in 1952. I am an informed American citizen that's my position.

I think it's interesting to me to talk to people who don't agree with me all the time.

Isn't it a little racist to call it Black Friday?

A better thing to grow up with is to be funny I think and if I had if I had my choice I would still pick that.

I mean I'd like to see (Mitt Romney's) house burn one of his millions of houses burning down. It would be kind of cool - the Mormon fire patrol.

I want to do an intelligent talk show where you have room to breathe.

As Socrates I believe said the unexamined life is not worth living. I believe that's true. I do believe that.

I feel bad for young people. The 20s are a nightmare also. The 20s are hard to do.

Madeleine Albright when you see her she's not a beautiful woman and she's getting older. But you're saying that woman has gravitas. She knows what she's talking about.

The Republicans do not have feeling for people who are in bad shape.

Republican Party hasn't been black friendly over the many centuries in this country.

Never eat at a Chinese restaurant named Mama Teresa's Trattoria.

Comedians usually are rooting for the underdog. I mean to take a shot at an underdog I think is really stupid and low and not funny.

It's a completely useless emotion - jealousy. I don't go there.

I keep my stand-up comedy notes in a pile on my desk. I don't organize my act. I keep myself in a state of confusion. It stresses me out but I prefer creative chaos.

Monogamy is monotonous but it's safe you know. And that's my philosophy. And I like to convey that to people.

I love a Dustbuster. You go around pick up little crumbs and everything is nice again.

You reach a point when you say to yourself 'Do I want to keep doing this?' There are other things on my plate I want to do - I've been writing a play; I've been neglecting my standup.

I don't need a diet pill. I need something that gives you an electric shock when you reach for food.

Those flowers were picked by illegal immigrants. And they're not voting for you b*tch.

Statistically skinny women die younger than fat women. Why? Because fat women are killing them.

I don't get jealous of people. Jealousy is such a waste of time because you're jealous of them and they go about their lives and have a wonderful time so what's the point?

I want a man in my life not in my house.

Everyone thinks I'm Jewish. I'm not. Last year I got a call: "Happy Hanukkah." I said "Ma I'm not Jewish.

You know I'm a comedian the same as Bill Maher and Jon Stewart. We all came up the same way. The three of us have interest in politics; I call us fundits we're fundits! We're not pundits!

I do like talk shows. I'm interested in talking to people.

I'm Italian but some people think I'm Jewish because I work the Yiddish. I also work the Italian by the way.

I interviewed Ann Coulter when I was sitting in for Larry King a couple of times and we have a rapport. I like to talk to her.

I think looks do matter on television.

Is there such a thing as a man-made stroke? In other words did someone do this to (Democratic Senator Tim Johnson)? ...I know what this [Republican] party is capable of.

I don't want to do just a liberal show.

I feel like when being raised in New York City I have a particular perspective on things like Gay issues maybe because I'm in the middle of Manhattan.

He's a terrorist. Rush Limbaugh is a terrorist.

When people heckle me I have the microphone. And the press has the microphone.

I am comfortable with myself and this is how I am. I am not really interested in having an acrimonious fight with somebody.

You really have to know who you are. It takes uh it's not that easy.