Jonathan Swift Quotes


I love white Portugal wine better than claret champagne or burgundy. I have a sad vulgar appetite.

Human brutes like other beasts find snares and poison in the provision of life and are allured by their appetites to their destruction.

Apollo was held the god of physic and sender of disease. Both were originally the same trade and still continue.

When a true genius appears you can know him by this sign: that all the dunces are in a confederacy against him.

Fools are apt to imitate only the defects of their betters.

It is with wits as with razors which are never so apt to cut those they are employed on as when they have lost their edge.

Men of great parts are often unfortunate in the management of public business because they are apt to go out of the common road by the quickness of their imagination.

A little grain of the romance is no ill ingredient to preserve and exalt the dignity of human nature without which it is apt to degenerate into everything that is sordid vicious and low.

From not the gravest of Divines Accept for once some serious Lines.

It is in disputes as in armies where the weaker side sets up false lights and makes a great noise to make the enemy believe them more numerous and strong than they really are.

Vision is the art of seeing what is invisible to others.

Simplicity without which no human performance can arrive at perfection.

By the laws of God of nature of nations and of your country you are and ought to be as free a people as your brethren in England.

Arbitrary power is the natural object of temptation to a prince as wine and women to a young fellow or a bribe to a judge or avarice to old age...

Orators inflame the people whose anger is really but a short fit of madness.

If they would for Example praise the Beauty of a Woman or any other Animal they describe it by Rhombs Circles Parallelograms Ellipses and other geometrical terms ...

Most sorts of diversion in men children and other animals are in imitation of fighting.

Principally I hate and detest that animal called man; although I heartily love John Peter Thomas and so forth.

The system of morality to be gathered from the ancient sages falls very short of that delivered in the gospel.

In church your grandsire cut his throat; to do the job too long he tarried: he should have had my hearty vote to cut his throat before he married.

Arbitrary power is but the first natural step from anarchy or the savage life.

I never knew any man cured of inattention.

We have enough religion to make us hate but not enough to make us love one another.

Very few men properly speaking live at present but are providing to live another time.

Then rising with Aurora's light The Muse invoked sit down to write; Blot out correct insert refine Enlarge diminish interline.

Though Diogenes lived in a tub there might be for aught I know as much pride under his rags as in the fine-spun garments of the divine Plato.

Books like men their authors have no more than one wayofcoming intothe world but there areten thousand to go out of it and return no more.

Nothing more unqualified the man to act with prudence than a misfortune that is attended with shame and guilt.

Hereditary right should be kept sacred not from any inalienable right in a particular family but to avoid the consequences that usually attend the ambition of competitors.

Brutes find out where their talents lie; a bear will not attempt to fly.

It is useless to attempt to reason a man out of a thing he was never reasoned into.

It is the first rule in oratory that a man must appear such as he would persuade others to be: and that can be accomplished only by the force of his life.

The axe of intemperance has lopped off his green boughs and left him a withered trunk.

Ay do despise me I'm the prouder for it; I like to be despised.

Lawyers Are: Those whose interests and abilities lie in perverting confounding and eluding the law.

In like manner the disbelief of a Divine Providence renders a man uncapable of holding any public station; for since kings avow themselves to be the deputies of Providence.

That the universe was formed by a fortuitous concourse of atoms I will no more believe than that the accidental jumbling of the alphabet would fall into a most ingenious treatise of philosophy.

Men who possess all the advantages of life are in a state where there are many accidents to disorder and discompose but few to please them.

There is no vice which humankind carries to such wild extremes as that of avarice.

A poor spirit is poorer than a poor purse. A very few pounds a year would ease a man of the scandal of avarice.

A man should never be ashamed to own that he has been in the wrong which is but saying... that he is wiser today than yesterday.

I never wonder to see men wicked but I often wonder to see them not ashamed.

Good manners is the art of making those people easy with whom we converse. Whoever makes the fewest people uneasy is the best bred in the room.

A maxim in law has more weight in the world than an article of faith.

He was a bold man that first ate an oyster.

If a man makes me keep my distance the comfort is he keeps his at the same time.

Under this window in stormy weather I marry this man and woman together; Let none but Him who rules the thunder Put this man and woman asunder.

An atheist has got one point beyond the devil.

... the atheists libertines despisers of religion ... that is to say all those who usually pass under the name of Free-thinkers.

There is no quality so contrary to any nature which one cannot affect and put on upon occasion in order to serve an interest.

The affectation of some late authors to introduce and multiply cant words is the most ruinous corruption in any language.

Lose no time to contradict her Nor endeavor to convict her; Only take this rule along Always to advise her wrong And reprove her when she's right; She may then grow wise for spite.

Rebukes are easy from our betters From men of quality and letters; But when low dunces will affront What man alive can stand the brunt?

Punning is a talent which no man affects to despise but he that is without it.

Every day is an opportunity to make a new happy ending. May you live all the days of your life.

Nothing is so hard for those who abound in riches as to conceive how others can be in want.

No man was ever so completely skilled in the conduct of life as not to receive new information from age and experience.

Say Britain could you ever boast Three poets in an age at most? Our chilling climate hardly bears A sprig of bays in fifty years.

Interest is the spur of the people but glory that of great souls. Invention is the talent of youth and judgment of age.

Invention is the talent of youth as judgment is of age.

When men grow virtuous in their old age they only make a sacrifice to God of the devil's leavings.

Everyone desires long life not one old age.

I cannot imagine why we should be at the expense to furnish wit for succeeding ages when the former have made no sort of provision for ours.

When a real genius appeares in this world you'll know him by the fact that all the fools have allied against him.

When a man of genius appears in the world it is immediately recognized by the fact that all the blockheads join forces against him.

When a great genius appears in the world you may know him by this sign; that the dunces are all in confederacy against him."[Thoughts on Various Subjects]

I row after health like a waterman...

So geographers in Africa maps With savage pictures fill their gaps And o'er uninhabitable downs Place elephants for want of towns

Don't set your wit against a child.

Reasoning will never make a man correct an ill opinion which by reasoning he never acquired

Real vision is the ability to see the invisible.

Although men are accused of not knowing their own weakness yet perhaps few know their own strength. It is in men as in soils where sometimes there is a vein of gold which the owner knows not of.

Great abilities when employed as God directs do but make the owners of them greater and more painful servants to their neighbors.

I love good creditable acquaintance; I love to be the worst of the company.

To acknowledge you were wrong yesterday is simply to let the world know that you are wiser today than you were then.

It may pass for a maxim in State that the administration cannot be placed in too few hands nor the legislature in too many.

Physicians ought not to give their judgment of religion for the same reason that butchers are not admitted to be jurors upon life and death.

You should never be ashamed to admit you have been wrong. It only proves you are wiser today than yesterday

Ah a German and a genius ! A prodigy admit him !

So naturalists observe a flea; Hath smaller fleas that on him prey; And these have smaller fleas to bite 'em And so proceed ad infinitum.

Last week I saw a woman flayed and you will hardly believe how much it altered her person for the worse.

Usually speaking the worst-bred person in company is a young traveller just returned from abroad.

When I am in danger of bursting I will go and whisper among the reeds.

I would rather be a freeman among slaves than a slave among freemen.

My horses understand me tolerably well; I converse with them at least four hours every day. They are strangers to bridle or saddle; they live in great amity with me and friendship of each other.

I am of the level with common Astrologers; who with an old paltry cant and a few pot-hooks for planets to amuse the vulgar have too long been suffered to abuse the world.

Rhetoric in serious discourses is like the flowers in corn; pleasing to those who come only for amusement but prejudicial to him who would reap profit from it.

Seamen have a custom when they meet a whale to fling him out an empty tub by way of amusement to divert him from laying violent hands upon the ship.

Argument as usually managed is the worst sort of conversation as in books it is generally the worst sort of reading.

Argument is the worst sort of conversation.

Better belly burst than good liquor be lost.

Ale is meat drink and cloth; it will make a cat speak and a wise man dumb.

I'm up and down and round about Yet all the world can't find me out; Though hundreds have employed their leisure They never yet could find my measure.

Few are qualified to shine in company but it is in most men's power to be agreeable.

We are so fond on one another because our ailments are the same.

Come agree the law's costly.

By candle-light nobody would have taken you for above five-and-twenty.

All human race would be wits. And millions miss for one that hits.

Hail follow well met All dirty and wet: Find out if you can Who's master who's man.

I have ever hated all nations professions and communities and all my love is toward individuals.

That incessant envy wherewith the common rate of mankind pursues all superior natures to their own.

The chameleon who is said to feed upon nothing but air has of all animals the nimblest tongue.

All fits of pleasure are balanced by an equal degree of pain and languor; it's like spending this year part of next year's revenue.

There's none so blind as they that won't see.

Power is no blessing in itself except when it is used to protect the innocent.

Time is painted with a lock before and bald behind signifying thereby that we must take time by the forelock; for when it is once past there is no recalling it.

Blot out correct insert refine enlarge diminish interline. Be mindful when invention fails. To scratch your head and bite your nails.

For want of a block man will stumble at a straw.

Neither are any wars so furious and bloody or of so long continuance as those occasioned by difference in opinion especially if it be in things indifferent.

Small causes are sufficient to make a man uneasy when great ones are not in the way: for want of a block he will stumble at a straw.

No man will take counsel but every man will take money. Therefore money is better than counsel.

Whoever makes the fewest persons uneasy is the best bred man in company.

111 company is like a dog who dirts those most whom he loves best.

And surely one of the best rules in conversation is never to say a thing which any of the company can reasonably wish had been left unsaid"¦

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet Doctor Quiet and Doctor Merryman.

Bachelor's fare: bread and cheese and kisses.

A fig for your bill of fare; show me your bill of company.

Big-endians and small-endians.

I cannot but conclude that the Bulk of your Natives to be the most pernicious Race of little odious Vermin that Nature ever suffered to crawl upon the Surface of the Earth.

The bulk of mankind is as well equipped for flying as thinking.

Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken.

Quotations are best brought in to confirm some opinion controverted.

Surely mortal man is a broomstick!

They say fish should swim thrice * * * first it should swim in the sea (do you mind me?) then it should swim in butter and at last sirrah it should swim in good claret.

Sweeping from butcher's stalls dung guts and blood Drown'd puppies stinking sprats all drench'd in mud Dead cats and turnip-tops come tumbling down the flood.

The scholars of Ireland seem not to have the least conception of style but run on in a flat phraseology often mingled with barbarous terms.

If the world had but a dozen Arbuthnots I would burn my [Gulliver's] Travels.

A tavern is a place where madness is sold by the bottle.

Books the children of the brain.

When I am reading a book whether wise or silly it seems to me to be alive and talking to me.

I have heard of a man who had a mind to sell his house and therefore carried a piece of brick in his pocket which he shewed as a pattern to encourage purchasers.

Unjustly poets we asperse: Truth shines the brighter clad in verse And all the fictions they pursue Do but insinuate what is true.

Let that be as it will thus much is certain that however spiritual intrigues begin they generally conclude like all others; they may branch upward toward heaven but the root is in the earth.

Laws are like cobwebs which may catch small flies but let wasps and hornets break through.

I won't quarrel with my bread and butter.

Bread is the staff of life.

Vanity is a natural object of temptation to a woman.

A nice man is a man of nasty ideas.

Polite Conversation 'Tis happy for him that his father was before him.

Polite Conversation Why everyone one as they like; as the good woman said when she kissed her cow.

Vision is seeing the invisible.

Kitchen Physic is the best Physic.

The sciences are found like Hercules's oxen by tracing them backward; and old sciences are unravelled like old stockings by beginning at the foot.

For to enter the palace of learning at the great gate requires an expense of time and forms therefore men of much haste and little ceremony are content to get in by the back-door

The example alone of a vicious prince will corrupt an age; but that of a good one will not reform it.

Blessed is he who expects nothing for he shall never be disappointed.

A ridiculous passion which hath no being but in play-books and romances.

Nothing is so great an example of bad manners as flattery. If you flatter all the company you please none; If you flatter only one or two you offend the rest.

Happiness is the perpetual possession of being well deceived.

For though in nature depth and height Are equally held infinite: In poetry the height we know; 'Tis only infinite below.

In all distresses of our friends We first consult our private ends; While Nature kindly bent to ease us Points out some circumstance to please us.

If you were not reasoned into your beliefs you cannot be reasoned out of them.

Venus a beautiful good-natured lady was the goddess of love; Juno a terrible shrew the goddess of marriage: and they were always mortal enemies.

There are few wild beasts more to be dreaded than a talking man having nothing to say.

Satire is a sort of glass wherein beholders do generally discover everybody's face but their own.

One principal object of good-breeding is to suit our behaviour to the three several degrees of men our superiors our equals and those below us.

Censure is the tax a man pays to the public for being eminent.

In men desire begets love and in women love begets desire.

The stoical scheme of supplying our wants by lopping off our desires is like cutting off our feet when we want shoes.

The more careless the more modish.

A carpenter is known by his chips.

Conversation is but carving! Give no more to every guest Than he's able to digest.

I'll give you leave to call me anything if you don't call me spade.

She watches him as a cat would watch a mouse.

I know Sir John will go though he was sure it would rain cats and dogs.

Let a man be ne'er so wise he may be caught with sober lies.

Every age might perhaps produce one or two geniuses if they were not sunk under the censure and obloquy of plodding servile imitating pedants.

He that calls a man ungrateful sums up all the veil that a man can be guilty of.

I hate nobody: I am in charity with the world.

T is as cheap sitting as standing.

She 's no chicken; she 's on the wrong side of thirty if she be a day.

A chuck under the chin is worth two kisses.

One enemy can do more hurt than ten friends can do good.

Hobbes clearly proves that every creature Lives in a state of war by nature.

I never saw heard nor read that the clergy were beloved in any nation where Christianity was the religion of the country. Nothing can render them popular but some degree of persecution.

My hunger serves me instead of a clock.

She wears her clothes as if they were thrown on with a pitchfork.

A pleasant companion is as good as a coach.

If a man will observe as he walks the streets I believe he will find the merriest countenances in mourning coaches.

Coffee makes us severe and grave and philosophical.

The best Maxim I know in this life is to drink your Coffee when you can and when you cannot to be easy without it.

It is the folly of too many to mistake the echo of a London coffee-house for the voice of the kingdom.

A college joke to cure the dumps.

Old men and comets have been reverenced for the same reason: their long beards and pretences to foretell events.

Politics as the word is commonly understood are nothing but corruptions.

Politics as the word is commonly understood are nothing but corruptions and consequently of no use to a good king or a good ministry; for which reason Courts are so overrun with politics.

The reason why so few marriages are happy is because young ladies spend their time in making nets not in making cages.

Undoubtedly philosophers are in the right when they tell us that nothing is great or little otherwise than by comparison.

This made me reflect how vain an attempt it is for a man to endeavor to do himself honor among those who are out of all degree of equality or comparison with him.

The greatest Inventions were produced in Times of Ignorance; as the Use of the Compass Gunpowder and Printing; and by the dullest Nation as the Germans.

Complaint is the largest tribute heaven receives and the sincerest part of our devotion.

The want of belief is a defect that ought to be concealed when it cannot be overcome.

The lack of belief is a defect that ought to be concealed when it cannot be overcome.

When we are old our friends find it difficult to please us and are less concerned whether we be pleased or not.

A traveler's chief aim should be to make men wiser and better and to improve their minds by the bad-as well as good example of what they deliver concerning foreign places.

Where I am not understood it shall be concluded that something very useful and profound is couched underneath.

Had Windham possessed discretion in debate or Sheridan in conduct they might have ruled their age.

For in reason all government without the consent of the governed is the very definition of slavery.

He was a fiddler and consequently a rogue.

A lie does not consist in the indirect position of words but in the desire and intention by false speaking to deceive and injure your neighbour.

There is nothing in this world constant but inconstancy.

There is nothing constant in this world but inconsistency.

Those dreams that on the silent night intrude and with false flitting shapes our minds delude ... are mere productions of the brain. And fools consult interpreters in vain.

The tiny Lilliputians surmise that Gulliver's watch may be his god because it is that which he admits he seldom does anything without consulting.

The ruin of a State is generally preceded by an universal degeneracy of manners and contempt of religion.

There is no vice or folly that requires so much nicety and skill to manage as vanity; nor any which by ill management makes so contemptible a figure.

Although the devil be the father of lies he seems like other great inventors to have lost much of his reputation by the continual improvements that have been made upon him.

The latter part of a wise person's life is occupied with curing the follies prejudices and false opinions they contracted earlier.

Love of flattery in most men proceeds from the mean opinion they have of themselves; in women from the contrary.

It is very unfair in any writer to employ ignorance and malice together because it gives his answerer double work.

If a lump of soot falls into the soup and you cannot conveniently get it out stir it well in and it will give the soup a French taste.

As love without esteem is capricious and volatile; esteem without love is languid and cold.

Positiveness is a good quality for preachers and speakers because whoever shares his thoughts with the public will convince them as he himself appears convinced.

The two maxims of any great man at court are always to keep his countenance and never to keep his word.

Cruel people are ever cowards in emergency.

I must complain the cards are ill shuffled till I have a good hand.

Fond of those hives where folly reigns And cards and scandal are the chains Where the pert virgin slights a name And scorns to redden into shame.

He had been eight years upon a project for extracting sunbeams out of cucumbers which were to be put into vials hermetically sealed and let out to warm the air in raw inclement summers.

Praise is the daughter of present power.

This is every cook's opinion - no savory dish without an onion but lest your kissing should be spoiled your onions must be fully boiled.

Have you not observed that there is a lower kind of discretion and regularity which seldom fails of raising men to the highest station in the court the church and the law?

There seems to be no part of knowledge in fewer hands than that of discerning when to have done.

It is as hard to satirize well a man of distinguished vices as to praise well a man of distinguished virtues.

Live every day as your last because one of these days it will be.

This wine should be eaten it is too good to be drunk.

My nose itched and I knew I should drink wine or kiss a fool.

A fig for partridges and quails ye dainties I know nothing of ye; But on the highest mount in Wales Would choose in peace to drink my coffee.

We have an intuitive sense of our duty.

When dunces are satiric I take it for a panegyric.

May you live all the days of your life.

Careful observers may foretell the hour (By sure prognostics) when to dread a show'r. While rain depends the pensive cat gives o'er Her frolics and pursues her tail no more.

Such a man truly wise creams off Nature leaving the sour and the dregs for philosophy and reason to lap up.

Daphne knows with equal ease How to vex and how to please; But the folly of her sex Makes her sole delight to vex.

The proper words in the proper places are the true definition of style.

A footman may swear; but he cannot swear like a lord. He can swear as often: but can he swear with equal delicacy propriety and judgment?

If we take an examination of what is understood by happiness ... we shall find all its properties ... under this short definition that it is a perpetual possession of being well deceived.

May you live every day of your life.

It is impossible that anything so natural so necessary and so universal as death should ever have been designed by providence as an evil to mankind.

Every dog must have his day.

Perverseness is your whole defence.

You must take the will for the deed.

This Day whate'er the Fates decree; Shall still be kept with Joy by me: This Day then let us not be told That you are sick and I grown old

That was excellently observed' say I when I read a passage in an author where his opinion agrees with mine. When we differ there I pronounce him to be mistaken.

Some dire misfortune to portend no enemy can match a friend.

There were many times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.

In all I wish how happy should I be Thou grand Deluder were it not for thee? So weak thou art that fools thy power despise; And yet so strong thou triumph'st o'er the wise.

Ever eating never cloying All-devouring all-destroying Never finding full repast Till I eat the world at last.

Two friendships in two breasts requires The same aversions and desires.

Every man desires to live long but no man wishes to be old.

Tell truth and shame the devil.

A lie is an excuse guarded

An excuse is a lie guarded.

What poet would not grieve to see His brother write as well as he? But rather than they should excel He'd wish his rivals all in Hell.

My father had a small Estate in Nottinghamshire; I was the Third of five Sons.

Flattery is the worst and falsest way of showing our esteem.

Reason is a very light rider and easily shook off.

The first springs of great events like those of great rivers are often mean and little.

No wise man ever wished to be younger.

The sight of you is good for sore eyes.

What they do in heaven we are ignorant of; what they do not do we are told expressly.

It is the talent of human nature to run from one extreme to another.

You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear.

Two women seldom grow intimate but at the expense of a third person.

Exploding many things under the name of trifles is a very false proof either of wisdom or magnanimity and a great check to virtuous actions with regard to fame.

I never knew a man come to greatness or eminence who lay abed late in the morning.

For what though his Head be empty provided his Common place-Book be full...

Liberty of conscience is nowadays only understood to be the liberty of believing what men please but also of endeavoring to propagate that belief as much as they can.

No preacher is listened to but time which gives us the same train and turn of thought that elder people have in vain tried to put into our heads before.

It is computed that eleven thousand persons have at several times suffered death rather than submit to break their eggs at the smaller end.

Possession they say is eleven points of the law.

Walls have tongues and hedges ears.

Some men under the notion of weeding out prejudice eradicate virtue honesty and religion.

Words are but wind; and learning is nothing but words; ergo learning is nothing but wind.

What some people invent the rest enlarge.

An English tongue if refined to a certain standard might perhaps be fixed forever.

I forget whether advice be among the lost things which Ariosto says are to be found in the moon: that and time ought to have been there.

I used to wonder how a man of birth and spirit could endure to be wholly insignificant and obscure in a foreign country when he might live with lustre in his own.

hoever wishes to win in this game must have patience and money since the values are so little constant and the rumors so little founded on truth Vision is the art of seeing things invisible.

The power of fortune is confessed only by the miserable for the happy impute all their success to prudence or merit.

It is remarkable with what Christian fortitude and resignation we can bear the suffering of other folks.

Men are happy to be laughed at for their humor but not for their folly.

Common fluency of speech in many men and most women is owing to a scarcity of matter.

I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing.

Modesty may make a fool seem a man of sense.

Old sciences are unraveled like old stockings by beginning at the foot.

It often happens that if a lie be believed only for an hour it has done its work and there is no further occasion for it.

Falsehood flies and the truth comes limping after it.

Falsehood flies and truth comes limping after it so that when men come to be undeceived it is too late; the jest is over and the tale hath had its effect.

And is not Virtue in Mankind The Nutriment that feeds the Mind?

Triumphant Tories and desponding Whigs Forget their feuds and join to save their wigs.

Party is the madness of many for the gain of a few.

Silks velvets calicoes and the whole lexicon of female fopperies.

Hail fellow well met.

Lord Madame I have fed like a farmer; I shall grow as fat as a porpoise.

A wise man will find us to be rogues by our faces.

A favor is half granted when graciously refused.

We of this age have discovered a shorter and more prudent method to become scholars and wits without the fatigue of reading or of thinking.

You cannot reason a person out of a position he did not reason himself into in the first place.

Nothing is so great an instance of ill-manners as flattery.

'T is an old maxim in the schools That flattery 's the food of fools; Yet now and then your men of wit Will condescend to take a bit.

Where Young must torture his invention To flatter knaves or lose his pension.

There never appear more than five or six men of genius in an age but if they were united the world could not stand before them.

Fine words! I wonder where you stole them.

They say fingers were made before forks and hands before knives.

She has more goodness in her little finger than he has in his whole body.

So endless and exorbitant are the desires of men that they will grasp at all and can form no scheme of perfect happiness with less.

With a whirl of thought oppressed I sink from reverie to rest. An horrid vision seized my head I saw the graves give up their dead.

When we desire or solicit anything our minds run wholly on the good side or circumstances of it; when it is obtained our minds run wholly on the bad ones.

Once kick the world and the world and you will live together at a reasonably good understanding.

An idle reason lessens the weight of the good ones you gave before.

Brisk talkers are generally slow thinkers.

Pride ill nature and want of sense are the three great sources of ill manners.

In oratory the greatest art is to hide art.

Everybody wants to live forever but nobody wants to grow old.

Men always grow vicious before they become unbelievers.

War: that mad game the world so loves to play.

Religion supposed Heaven and Hell the word of God and sacraments and twenty other circumstances which taken seriously are a wonderful check to wit and humour.

God hath intended our passions to prevail over reason.

When a man is made a spiritual peer he loses his surname; when a temporal his Christian name.

Not die here in a rage like a poisoned rat in a hole.

Vanity is a mark of humility rather than of pride.

Poor nations are hungry and rich nations are proud; and pride and hunger will ever be at variance.

A wise person should have money in their head but not in their heart.

A wise man should have money in his head but not in his heart.

O Grub Street! how do I bemoan thee whose graceless children scorn to own thee! . Yet thou hast greater cause to be ashamed of them than they of thee.

The tucked-up sempstress walks with hasty strides While streams run down her oil'd umbrella's sides.

An intelligent person should put money in the beginning but not in heart

Religion seems to have grown an infant with age and requires miracles to nurse it as it had in its infancy.

All panegyrics are mingled with an infusion of poppy.

The worthiest people are the most injured by slander as is the best fruit which the birds have been pecking at.

Tis nothing when you are used to it.

I always love to begin a journey on Sundays because I shall have the prayers of the church to preserve all that travel by land or water.

Patience alleviates as impatience augments pain; thus persons of strong will suffer less than those who give way to irritation.

Do you think I was born in a wood to be afraid of an owl?

Pray steal me not I'm Mrs. Dingley's Whose heart in this four-footed thing lies.

The preaching of divines helps to preserve well-inclined men in the course of virtue but seldom or ever reclaims the vicious.

A secret is seldom safe in more than one breast.

Observation is an old man's memory.

Many a truth is told in jest.

Just get the right syllable in the proper place.

Philosophy! the lumber of the schools.

Though fear should lend him pinions like the wind yet swifter fate will seize him from behind.

Nor do they trust their tongue alone but speak a language of their own; can read a nod a shrug a look far better than a printed book; convey a libel in a frown and wink a reputation down.

Oh how our neighbour lifts his nose To tell what every schoolboy knows.

The two noblest of things which are sweetness and light.

There are few very few that will own themselves in a mistake.

It is a maxim that those to whom everybody allows the second place have an undoubted title to the first.

Neither is it safe to count upon the weakness of any man's understanding who is thoroughly possessed of the spirit of revenge to sharpen his invention.

It is an uncontrolled truth that no man ever made an ill figure who understood his own talents nor a good one who mistook them.

It is a miserable thing to live in suspense; it is the life of the spider.

Men of wit learning and virtue might strike out every offensive or unbecoming passage from plays.

Satire being levelled at all is never resented for an offence by any.

It is in men as in soils where sometimes there is a vein of gold which the owner knows not.

Would a writer know how to behave himself with relation td posterity? Let him consider in old books what he finds that he is glad to know and what omissions he most laments.

I'm as old as my tongue and a little older than my teeth.

I have always a sacred veneration for anyone I observe to be a little out of repair in his person as supposing him either a poet or a philosopher.

Your onions should be thoroughly boiled.

Life is a tragedy wherein we sit as spectators for a while and then act our part in it.

Perpetual aiming at wit is a very bad part of conversation. It is done to support a character: it generally fails; it is a sort of insult on the company and a restraint upon the speaker.

A stander-by may sometimes perhaps see more of the game than he that plays it.

I am convinced that if the virtuosi could once find out a world in the moon with a passage to it our women would wear nothing but what directly came from thence.

Pedantry is properly the over-rating of any kind of knowledge we pretend to.

If Heaven had looked upon riches to be a valuable thing it would not have given them to such a scoundrel.

If the men of wit and genius would resolve never to complain in their works of critics and detractors the next age would not know that they ever had any.

Under the rose since here are none but friends To own the truth we have some private ends.

What religion is he of? Why he is an Anythingarian.

Strange an astrologer should die without one wonder in the sky.

Faith that's as well said as if I had said it myself.

I shall be like that tree-I shall die at the top.

Wise people are never less alone than when they are alone.

How is it possible to expect that mankind will take advice when they will not so much as take warning.