Jonathan Ames Quotes

I always liked those characters in 'True Blood' who could turn into animals. I'd love to be an animal of some kind and run quickly through a forest.

I'm on the verge of a total breakdown. Sciatica. Taxes. Cars. Fleas possibly. It's an absurd existence.

A lot of readers have actually helped me been really sweet to me... So maybe my cry for help has sometimes been answered.

As a child I wanted to be an athlete a professional tennis player or something like that.

I didn't play or like a lot of board games as a child. I liked playing with my G.I. Joes and making up adventures for them.

I don't like to publicly acknowledge being a Jew.

Don't hold me to anything in the book. I'm a waffler. I like wafflers. They said John Kerry was a waffler but I admired him for that - showed he could change his mind.

Then again the name the associations with a writer's name can add to the reader's entertainment and pleasure.

For me books have always been a way to feel less alone while being alone. Perhaps if I was depressed and isolated just communicating with these authors through their sentences helped me.

For me books have always been a way to feel less alone while being alone.

Unfortunately I'm one of those idiots who knows everything about health and is in a constant state of alarm and yet I continue to do everything I shouldn't do.

I need to stay in the present and use that new-age mantra: 'I'm okay right now.' But I worry about all the things I'm failing at every moment.

It seems like the original 'Star Trek' could have gone on longer.

For me the past is dead. Can't go back.

People don't expect too much from literature. They just want to know they're not alone with being confused.

I hid my underwear beneath a parked Peugeot.

I've always been inspired by Don Quixote as a role model of sorts of the power of books to sort of make you insane in maybe a beautiful way.

Having a show get canceled is like 'Oh you have caviar between your teeth ' you know what I mean? Because you had a show in the first place.

Mostly I have to try to censor myself so as not to write things that will hurt other people or that will go too far.

I've always been intrigued by Stockholm Syndrome. Reminds me of my childhood.

I don't really recognise success. I don't see myself as on an upwardly mobile trajectory. I see myself as on the edge of a cliff about to fall off.

I drink coffee. Without coffee I probably couldnt write.

I drink coffee. Without coffee I probably couldn't write.

There are so many talented young writers named Jonathan with whom by comparison I suffer terribly.

I'm actually much more shy and self-conscious than people's perception of me.

I've really never written about my relationships or things like that. I wouldn't want to divulge things that were too private.

I might have some sort of personality disorder. I might not have proper filters; it might be some kind of version of Asperger's meets Tourettes meets prose.

Oh God I don't know what's more difficult life or the English language.

I'm a somewhat isolated person in my own way or I move along a little trail I go this place I go that place. It's not like I'm varying my exposure.

I do think everyone would be a lot happier if we laid eggs on our own and could just have friendship and didn't need to mount and penetrate one another.

I don't laugh that much but I do like humorous books and I like to entertain readers that way.

I wish we had a dog in the show so that I could get to be a dog for a day.

I have very few hobbies. In fact I have no hobbies.

I don't like rides. I take everything in life quite literally and so I genuinely feel terrified on rides and liable to vomit at any moment and I hate to vomit even more than I fear rides.

I am part of a vast generation of people who perpetually live as if they just graduated from college.

It was one of those days when every time I went to go out the door something grabbed me in the back of the brain and said lie down and masturbate one more time.

Something has happened where you almost never grow up in America. Maybe it's the greater wealth.

It's hard to leave New York: this is where my friends are my parents are. It is so vital. The whole world seems to look to New York.

I promote my own self-hatred.

A lot of writing is a form of seeing - putting down what you see in terms of action and landscape.

There's no shortage of material in life.

I don't mind being ridiculed - well I guess I would mind a little but it would only last a few minutes - it's all very ephemeral; it doesn't really matter what people think of me.

It's hard for me to think of writing a novel because it takes so long.

The reason it's hard for me to tweet is I don't want to pronounce anything and Twitter is for pronouncing.

To write about a place you have to live there.

I am always the source of the worst rumors about myself.