David D. Burns Quotes


Apologies do make a difference. Believe it or not research shows people often prefer them over money.

Don't apologize for what you think you did wrong. Apologize for what they think you did wrong.

Accept yourself. But realize your behaviors can be bad.

Learn to accept your limits and you'll become a happier person.

I always wanted to see people's lives transformed from depression and anxiety to joy and peace.

Kindness is the cause of all anxiety.

Forgiving yourself not guilt increases personal accountability.

The best way to confront your fears it to stop avoiding the situation you're most afraid of.

Assert your right to make a few mistakes. If people can't accept your imperfections that's their fault.

I've been interviewed for hundreds of magazine articles and they come out incredibly goofy about 90 percent of the time.

Therapy is not to 'talk about' things but to change the person's life and to relieve suffering such as depression anxiety or relationship problems.

Although no one treatment will ever be a panacea research studies indicate that cognitive therapy can be helpful for a variety of disorders in addition to depression.

I have been amazed by the interest in cognitive behavioral therapy that has developed since 'Feeling Good' was first published in 1980. At that time very few people had heard of cognitive therapy.

Confronting your fears and allowing yourself the right to be human can paradoxically make you a far happier and more productive person.

Reaching for the stars perfectionists may end up clutching at air.

Perfectionism becomes a badge of honor with you playing the part of the suffering hero.

Depression is an illness and not a necessary part of healthy living.

Guilt is not the best way to remedy your mistakes.

Guilt serves a powerful social function in terms of policing our behavior.

I had the fear of heights when I was young along with many other fears and phobias including the fear of dogs bees horses and blood.

Depression can seem worse than terminal cancer because most cancer patients feel loved and they have hope and self-esteem.

People who are prone to guilt tend to work harder and perform better than people who are not guilt-prone and are perceived to be more capable leaders.

You don't have to do anything especially worthy to create or deserve self-esteem; all you have to do is turn off that critical haranguing inner voice.

Reaching for the stars perfectionists may end up clutching air. They suffer from mood disorders troubled relationships and stress. They may even achieve less than others.

Regret has a purpose. It's like the oil light on the dashboard of your life telling you something needs to be fixed. So fix it. And feel better.

You're human. You'll screw up. Denying that is crazy. Forgiving yourself has all the benefits of self-esteem without making you a narcissist that's out of touch with reality.

There is no standard 'therapeutic process ' since there are so many different schools of therapy.

When two people respect each other the ability to be vulnerable and to reveal hurt feelings can create a powerful emotional connection that is the source of real intimacy and friendship.

Forgive yourself and be ready to forgive yourself in the future. You're gonna screw up. It's okay.

Guilt doesn't help. What should fill in for it? Remorse. Remorse is when you feel bad about what you did. Guilt is when you feel bad about who you are.

Perfection' is man's ultimate illusion. It simply doesn't exist in the universe.... If you are a perfectionist you are guaranteed to be a loser in whatever you do.

You're not a bad person. But you sometimes do bad things. You know what that makes you? Human.

A poor self-image is the magnifying glass that can transform a trivial mistake or an imperfection into an overwhelming symbol of personal defeat.

That's one of the peculiar things about bad moods - we often fool ourselves and create misery by telling ourselves things that simply are not true.

You feel the way you do right now because of the thoughts you are thinking at this moment.

When you change the way you think you can change the way you feel.