Ayelet Waldman Quotes

I was terrified of LSD. I don't want to get arrested.

As a parent the only thing I am absolutely certain of is my own fallibility.

There's nothing I find quite as annoying as the phrase 'I told you so.'

You know I feel like my job is to write a book. Then filmmakers come and they make a movie. And they're two really different art forms.

The biggest challenge for any craft person or artist is to accept the constraints of their medium and make something beautiful despite them. That's kind of fun actually.

I went from resenting my mother-in-law to accepting her finally to appreciating her. What appeared to be her diffidence when I was first married I now value as serenity.

I have two daughters and I have done everything in my power to prevent them from assimilating even being aware of my idiocy about my weight.

My new novel 'Red Hook Road' began many years ago as a short article in the newspaper.

Why are the architects of the family-values agenda so eager to punish into the next generation? What is being served by seeking quite literally a tooth for a tooth?

Listen to the pregnant woman. Value her. She values the life growing inside her. Listen to the pregnant woman and you cannot help but defend her right to abortion.

In a perfect world probably we'd never yell we'd just be firm and dispassionate. But of course everyone yells at their children.

In a perfect world I think we would microdose with LSD instead of giving teenagers Adderall. But I'd like to see it studied first.

I've sometimes thought that it's only by recalling that desperate devotion my kids once felt for me that I can maintain my own desperate devotion in the face of their adolescent sneering.

What I do with my kids is - and I think they probably do ignore us - is No Alcohol. If they're drunk they will be grounded for time immemorial.

I really hate alcohol. I hate it because it's linked so closely to sexual assault in our culture.

The first inkling my husband had that I was thinking about suicide was when he checked my blog.

Why is it that loving something provides such little protection from betrayal?

For a couple of months there I was shrieking like a banshee

If producing a regular column is living out loud then keeping a daily blog is living at the top of your lungs. For a couple of months there I was shrieking like a banshee.

By the time the children go to bed I am as drained as any mother who has spent her day working car pooling building Lego castles and shopping for the precisely correct soccer cleat.

Nothing makes me roll my eyes faster than a "Coexist" bumper sticker.

In fact if I see you drinking I'll come down on you like a ton of bricks and call your mom.

Let's all commit ourselves to the basic civility of minding our own business. Failing that let's go back to a time when we were nasty and judgmental but only behind one another's backs.

You can take the babushka off the Jewish mother and dress her up in a pair of Seven jeans and Marc Jacobs sling-backs but she's still going to expect a passel of grandkids.

[T]here is an inverse correlation between the cleanliness of a bathroom and my 3-year-old daughter's need to move her bowels.

If a good mother is one who loves her child more than anyone else in the world I am not a good mother. I am in fact a bad mother. I love my husband more than I love my children.

One of the darkest deepest shames so many of us mothers feel nowadays is our fear that we are Bad Mothers that we are failing our children and falling far short of our own ideals.

Aborting my baby is the most serious of the many maternal crimes I tally in my head when I am at my lowest when the Bad Mother label seems to fit best. Rocketship was my baby. And I killed him.

The idea that [Jeff Sessions] is the man who is going to end the progress on the drug war makes me want to rip my hair out every carefully nurtured curl on my head.

Roaring like a tiger turns some children into pianists who debut at Carnegie Hall but only crushes others. Coddling gives some the excuse to fail and others the chance to succeed.

Personally I think four is the perfect number of children for our particular family. Four is enough to create the frenzied cacophony that my husband and I find so joyful.

I love my husband more than I love my children

Is Valentine's Day a day to make cupcakes with your children? No Valentine's is supposed to be a day about romantic love.

By presenting a faithful and honest record of my experience as a mother I hope to show both my readers and my children how truth can redeem even what you fear might be the gravest of sins.

It's incredibly important to me that my children don't put anything in their bodies that they haven't tested first - that's how you end up dying.

[W]hatever my intentions whatever the truth of my claim I had no business giving a lecture to a total stranger.

I'd written personal essays before but never on this scale -- never so often and with such er honesty. (If by honesty I mean slashing my wrists and hemorrhaging all over the computer screen).

There is no fundamental truth and there's nothing to be connected to: I just believe that [LSD] makes you feel better.

Well you know I was raised by a 1970s feminist. My mom had a consciousness-raising group. I used to sit at the top of the stairs and listen to them.

That connection between hormones and mood is so important to get a handle on and it's also really important when you're considering taking medication.

States began to realize how much money they were spending on incarceration and how much money they were spending fighting this ludicrous war on drugs that was actually counterproductive.

The only difference between a writer and someone who wants to be a writer is discipline.

I've only ever been interested in drugs as therapeutic tools.

I've never really been interested in recreational drug use.

Being a public defender makes you incredibly paranoid - and I would say with reason - about law enforcement.

I was a federal public defender during the most important years of the drug war. I saw people go to jail for nothing and go to jail for a long time.

I always tell my kids that as soon as you have a secret something about you that you are ashamed to have others find out you have given other people the power to hurt you by exposing you.

If you focus all of your emotional passion on your children and you neglect the relationship that brought that family into existence... eventually things can go really really wrong

I expend far too much of my maternal energies on guilt and regret.

The thing I believe in most in the world is my own fallibility so I am willing to believe that I may be wrong too.

My kids are incredibly secure. More and more of their friends' parents are divorcing but my kids have absolute confidence that we'll stay together forever. That goes a long long way.

I was a lesbian for a semester at Wesleyan - it was a graduation requirement.

I'm sure there are people who survive tragedy without humor but I've never met any of them. Nor would I be particularly interested in writing about them if I did meet them.

When you consider America there are hundreds of millions of people who have smoked marijuana illegally.

I just don't have a lick of optimism left in me.

My father is sure that Israel keeps the Holocaust from happening again. I worry that it might hasten its recurrence.

I love reader mail and I do read it but I won't read hate mail.

How many straight men maintain inappropriately intimate relationships with their mothers? How many shop with them? I want a gay son. People laugh but they assume I'm kidding. I'm not.

Courage is impulsive; it is narcissism tempered with nihilism.

Lots of medications work for a month or a year and then stop working.

Here are my Mommy Messages: Wear a condom and test your Molly.

I smoked pot when I was a teenager because other kids were doing it but I didn't enjoy it that much.

I am a very nonspiritual person.

I have made so many mistakes as a mother. But the one thing that I know I do is I make sure my children know how much I love them and they are absolutely secure in that.

If God were like a Star Wars Force linking all consciousness I supposed I could maybe believe that. But let's just say I'm not going to be running off to India to join an ashram anytime soon.